Work & Marriage – How to Make Both Work
Meeting the love of your life is just one half of the destination, maintaining a positive, loving relationship in between work makes the whole of the journey.
Wedding bells are rife any given time of the year. Perhaps it's the significance of the date, time or venue. But the real deal is truly all about your significant other. No one said marriage is easy and for many couples today, making their marriage work between heavy work commitments can take its toll.
It is a norm to see working husband and wife drift apart not long after declaring their vows of ‘for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part'. This is an age where career and cost of living take precedence over the structure of a family life. Marriage can deteriorate into routine boredoms, anger, frustrations and resentments.
There isn't a magic formula but VenusBuzz.com sorts out some sound tips to help make your marriage last between the demands of work.
#1 Time is of essence
You have made the commitment to spend your life together, so naturally you have massive expectations. But it doesn't always go according to plan. The first thing to remember is that time will be an issue. There will always be more projects or meetings to attend to but this shouldn't hinder you from making an effort.
It's easy to have ‘no time for marriage' but truth is you find time for everything else which then leaves you with no space for your marriage. Being married is not an excuse for you to start taking things or each other for granted. Don't stop making the effort.
#2 Keep the romance real
Now that you're married, the romance doesn't have to die down. But forget the romantic expectations you get from Danielle Steel's novels or chick-flicks – "this is not what I signed up for!” – because they will only work against the sustainability of your long term union.
It may be hard to make time between jobs and kids but set aside at least one day of the month as "date night” or use your weekends wisely to remember the lovers you used to be. Enjoy each other's company, talk and do something that has nothing to do with work or the kids. Just the two of you.
#3 Keep work out of the home
We devote our lives to our jobs and it's very hard for couples these days not to bring work home. But by spending late nights on the computer or catching up on reports, you're cutting back on quality time you could be spending with your other half. This may cause resentment or encourage him or her to bring work home too.
A marital home should really just be about the family. It is sanctuary of sorts. This is where you can find rest and respite from the harsh reality of the working world and take comforts in the ones you love and matter the most. If you can help it, keep the office out of your home.
#4 Talk your heart out
The making of a long-term relationship lies in communication. It is important to communicate and stay connected with your spouse. Sure, after a hard day's work, you just want to enjoy the silence. But don't ignore your husband or wife. It is an unpleasant feeling when it feels like they have no place in your life.
Spend the evenings with your loved one. Relax over tea and talk about your day. Studies have shown that couples that engage in conversation over 30 minutes a day are happier than those who spend less time with each other. So stay committed.
#5 Share the housework
This may seem like a trivial matter but a lot of couples actually argue about this more than you realise. As two people living together and both are working from day to night, the question is who does the housework? The answer is both.
Do not pass the bucket or nitpick over who should do more house chores. Take time to list down the chores that need to be done over the week and see how you can fairly split the tasks. It's best to take the load off each other's back responsibly as a working household to avoid any fights or arguments.
It is a norm to see working husband and wife drift apart not long after declaring their vows of ‘for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part'. This is an age where career and cost of living take precedence over the structure of a family life. Marriage can deteriorate into routine boredoms, anger, frustrations and resentments.
There isn't a magic formula but VenusBuzz.com sorts out some sound tips to help make your marriage last between the demands of work.
#1 Time is of essence
You have made the commitment to spend your life together, so naturally you have massive expectations. But it doesn't always go according to plan. The first thing to remember is that time will be an issue. There will always be more projects or meetings to attend to but this shouldn't hinder you from making an effort.
It's easy to have ‘no time for marriage' but truth is you find time for everything else which then leaves you with no space for your marriage. Being married is not an excuse for you to start taking things or each other for granted. Don't stop making the effort.
#2 Keep the romance real
Now that you're married, the romance doesn't have to die down. But forget the romantic expectations you get from Danielle Steel's novels or chick-flicks – "this is not what I signed up for!” – because they will only work against the sustainability of your long term union.
It may be hard to make time between jobs and kids but set aside at least one day of the month as "date night” or use your weekends wisely to remember the lovers you used to be. Enjoy each other's company, talk and do something that has nothing to do with work or the kids. Just the two of you.
#3 Keep work out of the home
We devote our lives to our jobs and it's very hard for couples these days not to bring work home. But by spending late nights on the computer or catching up on reports, you're cutting back on quality time you could be spending with your other half. This may cause resentment or encourage him or her to bring work home too.
A marital home should really just be about the family. It is sanctuary of sorts. This is where you can find rest and respite from the harsh reality of the working world and take comforts in the ones you love and matter the most. If you can help it, keep the office out of your home.
#4 Talk your heart out
The making of a long-term relationship lies in communication. It is important to communicate and stay connected with your spouse. Sure, after a hard day's work, you just want to enjoy the silence. But don't ignore your husband or wife. It is an unpleasant feeling when it feels like they have no place in your life.
Spend the evenings with your loved one. Relax over tea and talk about your day. Studies have shown that couples that engage in conversation over 30 minutes a day are happier than those who spend less time with each other. So stay committed.
#5 Share the housework
This may seem like a trivial matter but a lot of couples actually argue about this more than you realise. As two people living together and both are working from day to night, the question is who does the housework? The answer is both.
Do not pass the bucket or nitpick over who should do more house chores. Take time to list down the chores that need to be done over the week and see how you can fairly split the tasks. It's best to take the load off each other's back responsibly as a working household to avoid any fights or arguments.
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